Carpentry...Out of My Mind... Into My Body

The first thing I did in my life that was not by the Script was to become a carpenter. I had just graduated college with a BS in Biology.  I called myself an intellectual idiot at the time. While walking on a beach on some island in the firgin islands I got the idea that I wanted to help people make their homes better places to be. When I got home I became a carpenter. 

It got me out of my mind and into my body. Through the act of making things, creating things, with my hands  and my body I became aware of another type of knowledge. The knowing that resides in your belly. . I also learned how one's work is a reflection of one's state of being. A hammer blow to the thumb instead of the nail head is you telling yourself something. In order to do Quality, as in Pirsig's concept of Quality, Work one must be centered, grounded, existing in the process of the unfolding of the making. 

Years latter I started the study of Iyengar Yoga. I had an incredible, gifted  teacher. And within yoga I learned how the body blocks off and hides trauma and emotions for us when we are not ready yet. I learned how to open my body and how to channel energy through it. I would do twists and anger would rush out, backbends brought joy, standing poses strength of will, inversion perspective, and supprted poses would open the floodgate to my forgotten trauma. No longer forgotten.

My healing started when I turned away from my intellect, my mind, and looked to my body for knowledge of myself and the world and that all began with strapping a tool belt and learning how to hit a nail on the head wtih a hammer.

It is last thing I ever expected in my life. But that was just because I wasn't paying attention.  You won't find any letters behind my name. I'm not certified or licensed. I have not studied a discipline for decades. I can simply do it. Marie, the woman who looked at my energetics and said that I could,  says I put in the time and the sudy in previous lives. That may be. A year ago I found out I can help people heal in various ways. It's what I care most about now.  I am now a healer. 

As Marie thought the healing of others continues to help me in my healing.  

 What I had not been paying attention to were the facts that I started to see and converse with the spirits of Wild places at around 20. I also learned then that I converse with plants. Then there is my study of Iyengar yoga, starting 20 years ago. In the past 5 years I have been blessed to have some amazing, powerful  women healers come into my life and help me find my true selve in the midst of trauma and  anguish by learning how to speak with my ancestors, tap into and channel my kundalini energy,  delve deeper my energetic field,  find my inner feminine and allow it to support my masculine, to dance, and the desire to be truly Well.

One of the things that has come from doing this work is the awareness of the depth of the invasiness of the cosmology impressed in my every cell by my culture and my place in it. That installed cosmology  judges this work as not. Not real, not enough, not worthy....not. I have become aware of just how deep and insiduous it is and how those beliefs adversely effect  my wellbeing. To heal I must choose to not be that which I was taught and am being taught daily. As I cleanse myself of these beliefs I get better. I choose to allow myself to be well.